you know those times in life when you just feel beyond stressed? and not just stressed but let's say, oh, a little depressed. in a very non-little way. yeah, that's been me for about the last few weeks. constantly, more than i've ever been in my life.
have you ever had those times where a psychiatrist calls you out on needing "more happy" in your life in public? and not the kind of public where you really know the people but they feel like they are basically complete strangers? i have.
do you ever feel like you are at a total loss of what to do? i do, especially lately.
do you ever find a solution for that feeling? even if it's only temporary? can i share mine with you?
+ i talk with god. even if i don't receive an answer right away, when i believe that i WILL receive an answer eventually, i at least feel more hopeful. in a way that is an answer. i'll take feeling hopeful over feeling lost and abandoned. that hopeful feeling doesn't always last a long while but it always comes back when i pray, so i keep praying. and over time i do feel myself getting stronger. the answers do come. so i keep doing it.
+ one "strategy" of prayer.
prayers don't always have to be formal. the second i let go of the idea that they had to be formal all the time is the very second i felt closer to my heavenly father that i ever have. i do think there are times when its alright for prayers to be formal but when i'm opening my heart to him, i don't think it always is. there are just too many times in life where panic sets in and all i want to do is vent and have you ever tried venting to someone "formally"? it doesn't feel natural. i've learned that if i'm putting too much energy into being formal with god, i'm not really focusing on being completely open. he is my father after all and i should feel close to him. i was taught growing up that i couldn't be casual in praying and it sort of frustrated me because i had a hard time connecting to god, someone who i'd been told loved me more than anyone else. it never really made much sense to me but that's how i learned prayer should go so that's what i did. it also made it easier to slip into a bad habit of not talking to heavenly father because it was that much harder. prayer is an extremely personal thing, so you decide yourself how you want to do it, if you even want to at all. i definitely won't discourage you from doing it.
+ i believe god wants to talk to us and wants us to talk to him and ask him for blessings. he has the power to bless us, he is the most powerful being in the universe. some things we ask for don't come but that is because maybe we aren't ready for them at that time or maybe because he has something better for us in mind and sometimes it takes a long time for us to see just what it is he wants for us. but he does love us so much and truly has our best intentions at heart. i've been guilty of thinking that isn't true because i feel like sometimes i know what is best for me. the truth is, i only know what i want and what i THINK is best. sometimes it's not the same as what he wants for me, sometimes it is. sometimes i don't even know what i want or think. it's about the journey to get to the place where you can accept that he really does know you personally and that he isn't out to punish you or mess with you. he loves you. he knows you better than anyone. bring your will in line with his. life is a journey. prayer only helps.
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